In the End
by Katraa
Summary: In the end, as the demon loomed closer, eyes an inhuman shade of amber, he didn't regret anything he had done. Spoilers for last episode // subtle seb/ciel


rendition of the ending of the anime for kuroshitsuji. will contain lots of spoilers, so read at your caution. the dialogue may be tweaked considering the subbed version of the last episode is not out yet--I am merely going off several translations from fellow fans. anyhow, I hope you enjoy it.

**for**: my darling _kira_

**  
In the End**  
_sic erat in fatis_

It's cold.

That's the first thing Ciel noticed when his feet touched the stone beneath him. The second thing he noticed was how remote of a location Sebastian brought him too. It didn't matter though—the isolation was comforting in a twisted way. The last thing Ciel noticed was the expression on his butler's face.

The young Phantomhive heir had often thought of this moment. Thought of it in the darkest hours of the night when Sebastian had assumed he was sleeping. He had thought the end would come swiftly, without a soft word uttered. He had imagined that once his revenge was made, the demonic butler would swoop in, strangle him, and then devour his young Soul. Sometimes he imagined that Sebastian would feast upon the Soul while he was still alive, causing every sour memory in his corrupted heart to reawaken and replay itself on an infinite loop. He had never thought that he would be ferried away to a small island amidst mist and placed gently onto a bench.

"Will it hurt?" Ciel asked, hands reflexively curling into small fists by his side. A lonely wind rushed through his hair, reminding him of the imminent death he will soon face. He contracted with an agent of the devil and the consequences were inevitable. It was foolish to think otherwise.

"A little," the demon admitted, red gaze trained onto his master before him. "I will be gentle," he assured, the words flowing out eloquently with a barely noticeable trace of remorse. But that would be stupid to think such a thing, wouldn't it? Demons had no emotions. Demons were corrupted beings that were lusting after human souls. Demons had no connections to humans other than platonic contracts.

"No," Ciel stated sternly into the night air, eyes shutting tightly for a second. "No," he repeats, gaze reopening after a moment to stare at the demon with his unmarked eye. "Make it hurt," he ordered, a small shake growing at the base of his spine. He won't show Sebastian he's nervous.

He won't show him that he's still a child at heart and that the darkness scares him. He's been in it too long to still be scared—but he is. Deep down, he's still terrified every time he catches his butler's gaze. He's still afraid of nightmares

Sebastian's jaw slackens, lips parting to speak, but no words come out. The demon butler remains silent, standing cordially a few feet away from his seated master. He merely stares, waiting for Ciel to continue.

"Make it hurt," Ciel began again. "Carve it into my soul that I lived," he concluded, voice loud and accomplished. Deep down, he's terrified. Deep down, even though he's filled with pride for having lived so long, for having been so loyal to the queen, for having done _so _much to show the world he was _capable_, he's still scared. Still weak.

"…Yes, My Lord."

Sebastian bowed simply, hand coming to rest over his heart as he knelt down. After a moment, he straightened to full height and crossed the small distance between master and servant—demon and human, prey and predator. Silence fell between the pair as Ciel tipped his head back against the cold stone, ignoring the crow nestled smugly on the weathered stones behind him. He ignores it all—it's only Sebastian and him in this cold, wretched, prolonged silence.

Only them.

He took a moment to about what Elizabeth would do when she heard the news. Would she be sad? Of course she would. Would she move on? He hoped so. Even if the girl grated his nerves, she was still his friend. One of his _only_ friends. He may have even dared to state his 'only' friend in the cold, unforgiving world he had been dragged into, but that would be invalid. There was Soma, there was Agni, and then there was…Sebastian.

Even if it was all just a façade, even if he treated Sebastian as a loyal dog that panted contently at his feet, he kept him close.

"Stay by my side," Ciel whispered as Sebastian finally stood before him, gaze refusing to betray any emotions stirring in the demon. His earlier words are still ringing in Ciel's head. Sebastian refused to show him his true form, not wanting to corrupt the image of perfection he had given Ciel. Did that constitute as emotion? Did that constitute as care? As platonic care?

After another agonizing moment of silence, Sebastian's glove was off and black nails were caressing his face. Ciel breath involuntarily hitched as he felt the oddly warm fingertips glide across his skin. His gaze widens, hot pricks of water beginning to gather in his eyes. All he saw in that moment was Sebastian—demon or not.

It was just Sebastian.

Ciel almost broke out into a sob at the warm sensation pooling in his heart as his stomach dropped, knowing it would all end soon. He leaned, barely noticeably, into the warm hand that traveled along his face. The eye patch fell, revealing the burning pentagram scarred onto his eye—onto his Soul.

It was proof of what he had done.

It was proof he was Sebastian's now.

Only Sebastian's.

_Sebastian's_.

As Sebastian leaned closer, the demon being the only thing reflecting in the Earl's eye, a twinge of remorse filled Ciel. The boy's eyes watered significantly, tremors tearing apart his body. It's only a matter of time before Sebastian's warm breath is centimeters from his lips, seemingly drawing out his soul in small wisps of air. But it doesn't matter. Sebastian will stay by his side. It doesn't matter—he's made the Phantomhive name pure again amongst nobles. It doesn't matter, he doesn't have any regrets regarding what he has done.

It was true, he didn't regret what he had done. Didn't regret the choices he had made and the enemies he slaughtered and the bridges he burned.

He didn't regret the betrayals and the wounds.

He didn't regret the cold presence swooping over him as Sebastian's face drew closer, eyes an otherworldly, searing red.

When Sebastian's lips met his, ending his life as a human, as _Ciel Phantomhive,_ head of the Phantomhive family, fiancé of Elizabeth Middleford, friend of Prince Soma, master of a demon from hell, Ciel was filled with an incomprehensible amount of guilt and a last rush of pleasure.

He didn't regret anything he had done in the past three years in that moment.

He only regretted not having done _enough._


End file.
